Never stopped

You can still love someone, even after

I’ve been fighting to survive since I was a child… I won’t stop now.
I’ve realized I wasn’t important to more people long after the fact…
I’ve admitted my mistakes, you’re probably laughing at that.. but I have..
This is how I feel and no one can tell me I’m wrong for it..
I feel second best… a convenience when he’s not needing you
You drop everything.. even us for things that can wait
For someone who’s put irrelevant beings ahead of you
A convenience when you’re in a good mood
Convenient when I make enough money to keep things flowing
Approved when I go and do the embarrassing things dealing with the government
When I use the broken card bc I’m not too proud
I’m ok to be around when you’re not upset with him or them or whomever didn’t piss you off today
Supposed to be oil and water to others..
All it has become is a smorgasbord
I can’t remember the last time someone didn’t influence how our days went or how your lack of sleep and self love didn’t make me feel so small
Every remark of my mistakes I can only use as strength bc had they been used for deteriorating myself… I’d surely be dead
I’m weak.
You’re my weakness
So capable of love..
You are
Masked in walls so high the vines grow from the depth of the darkness in your soul
My effort is disguised in all the wrong I’ve done
If I could I’d change ever living my life to anyone’s standard but my own
Attempts to make you love yourself
Seen as annoying
As desperate
As childish
Not as the partner I was working to be for you
Not the adult who was trying to break you down to shine you through
I should’ve meant more
You should’ve meant more
We should’ve meant more
Should have been indestructible
… this isn’t easy
Growing from within an innocent life
That you barely acknowledge
You don’t ask how I’m doing
How my days are going
You don’t care
Waking up
Heartbreak after Heartbreak
I’m strong-willed
You’re bullheaded
Pride being our downfall
A breath too loud
I’ve ruined your day
I’ve gone from a brick to an eggshell
I’m crumbling
You’re fine



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