Monthly Archives: September 2012

Dogma & Black ops.

ImageIsn’t it funny how one thought can snowball into an atrocious mindfuck? Yeah pretty crazy. My inner voice can be a bitch sometimes. It dawned on me, we all live in dogma. If it’s not dogma of ourselves, then it’s dogma of society.. etc.. I HATE IT. I try my best not to be this way.. but I describe myself as dogmatic.. but I’ve gotten a lot better.

I apologize for not writing in such a longgggg time.. forgive me.. I’ve been busting my ass to make a reality of something I want to happen. Send me good vibes! THANKS.

Anyway, as I ramble I have plenty to write about.. with a day off from life.. it’s long overdue I’d say so.

My boyfriend is my best friend, I can talk to him about anything & everything.. he’s always there.

When I first saw you, I fell in  love.. & you smiled because you knew

It made me think of when I first saw my boyfriend.. I was on a bus..greyhound.. I first saw him on the phone as we were pulling up.. he was sitting in the jeep.. I couldnt contain myself I was figity in my seat.. I was more excited than nervous.. I was so ready to see him and be able to touch him without using keystrokes of my laptop. He was wearing sunglasses, but I smiled when I saw him.. I really did fall in love.. & I knew it.. & he smiled too.. and we kissed.. magnetic.. i love his beard. He’s at perfect height for me.. simply perfect

Just wanted to throw that out there.

I find it crazy..

You go through life.. in and out of relationships.. and then you finally get that one.. for you.. & you wonder what it was you had with everyone else. I always try to avoid telling my boyfriend that he was the first person I ever truly love.. bc I know he wouldnt believe it.. but it is him who said if you love someone and it isn’t love anymore then it was never love to begin with.. I know I probably sicken a lot of you with talking about my relationship a lot, but when you only feel it with one person thats all you can use.. I dont compare my boyfriend to those of my past but I do know what I felt with them was nothing to what I have with him.. I’m not really one to repeat myself, so I never really has a lot of relationships that were on & off.. I make a choice & I live with it… I follow my heart to the best of my ability & I’m honest with myself. I know that no guys has given me butterflies with steel wings like he does, none of them have made me smile the way he can get me to smile.. they never fit in my future plans.. but somehow he fits perfectly.. none of them were a friend to me.. & I think thats where he trumps everyone.. He knows me, inside & out.. he knows how I am & how to be there for me.. he’s just that one ya know? How can I ever express something that words will never describe, he just stands out from the rest.. his heart waiting for my waiting heart.lovely plan & perfectly executed.. but I know a lot of you reading this can relate to that feeling.. of that one person completely changing your life in the best way.. he’s my one.. *awwwhhhhh <3* <– that thoughts been on my mind for a long time, how he’s the first person to have this affect on me.. I don’t have a backup plan bc he’s the only thing I have a plan with.. & I know it’ll work.

You know… I had a lot to type about but it’s a really nice day outside.. & I wanna order some pizza, open the windows, & play black ops.. So I think I’ll do just that.

Thanks for reading (:

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